uhhhhh sob sob dunno wat to do la..

hmmmm these day so stress lor..that day(i think last thursday) i see him on the way to bilik nilam..well he coolly walk infront of me..and then i FEEL that he stare at me by looking down (grrr whats with that..i know i am short la..do u think i want to be born so short??i also wan to the one thats what ppl call PERFECT but if its normal than i could be happy too)..


and then after that day its the day i see another HIM that is my first enemy (this is what i tot before but then now i realize that hating him doesn have any merit for me but then i also cant look into his face,if i do i will remember the past..so i juz can avoid until one day i can fully forget everything)its always like this the thing i want to forget then i will remember deeply and the thing i want to remember then i will forget all of it...haiz pathetic..


i am seriously damaged..i will self-recovering..does this world have something call love medicine for forget the pain and hurt??hmmm guess not then if i can be a scientist i will create one..and also the medicine to kill myself without blood,scars,and perfectly die in a pretty body..hehe..now also i think of that..


1-if i drink dinamo than i will vomit those white white de(duno what to call it but in the tv i always see it xp)
2-if jump form the top of somewhere then got a lot blood flowing..yer i dun wan..
3-die by open the gas and close all the window..hmmm this will die with a white face dun wan..
4-cutting the hand..yer the blood flowing..yikes..dun wan
5-eat or drink some poison..hmm this is better..


well even die have its own method rite..i chose to die drinking some medicine that keep me sleep 4eva..hehe..almost all i see form tv..for those KID dun try this!!bcoz....this is my method dun copy mine..


haha i am an anime lover so i like collect komic..if i am in a bad mood i will read them and get my mood up by a bit..(well better than nothing)..i buy a lot of them (of cuz my papa buy it)..and also i like collecting book than using it (i mean the note book that have colour)..i duno what year both of my sis giv me 2 books for christmas present then i still kept it until now..sometimes if i want to remember their memory i will look at the book and start thinking a bunch of thing..


everything doen not going as u plan..sometimes its even upside-down..when i am a kid around standard 1 i dun wan go skul but then my papa say "go la" and now i wan go he said "dun go la"...what la..really upside-down lor..


now i know the feeling when HE dump me that time and the feeling dumping other ppl..here is the different..

being dump-
it feels hurt(if u still like that ppl but then its not hurt at all if u dun like that person anymore)..and even u will hate that person until........(duno)..

dumping other ppl-
it feels somekind...relief..and happy..regret (if there is a reason like ur parent block) feeling happy and relief bcoz finally get of the one that u dun like and take out some stress(for me)..


i dun know how to say but of cuz the one thats being dump is much hurt so i understand his feeling by now so if he say wanna be strangers with me,i also dun mind coz i know the feeling..i also once feel like wanna hate HIM 4eva but then now the feeling of hate start to decrease..hating him make me remember the past..but i duno what a guy will think maybe he is the different from me..well maybe he do want to be strangers with me 4eva..


these day watch a lot of anime..and my 2nd sis also so childish one..i never think she is so childish..lol but cute ^^ she send me a sailormoon link..lol..well when i am around...(hmmm duno la) i used to watch pokemon,digimon,sailor moon and so on but then now i watch a lot of other anime..i dun like watching cartoon..it make me sick(but skul guys make me more sick)..those cartoon face is not nice a lot also like a box head..anime is great its almost like real..


and also i remember around the time my sis teach me abc..guess what i first learn??haha guess it...and then that time i go pasar with my papa and my papa buy me a big big doll..taller than me one and i play it with my 2nd sis..she said "do whatever this doll is doing ya.." then i say "okay"(how stupid)..and she take the doll right hand so i get up my right hand then she make the doll upside-down..uhh so i am laughing there is not all i can do as the doll..haha..


why girls is always dikatakan "sedap dipakai layu dibuang"??izit looks that important than heart??haiz nvm looks and heart also cant eat rite??they are common..or izit bcoz the guy is playboy?? *sick of guys*


oh ya here is another song recommended by him to me..


Artist: Elliot Yamin
Song: Wait For You
Album: Popular Songs

[Verse 1]
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.


fuhh..finally its over..this is a nice song..oh ya maybe i wont use phone anymore so don contact me with my phone ya...juz contact me in msn(for my fren that have my msn address only girls)