bad luck come again...

well i forget to write all the past thing that happen...hmmm let it pass ba..anyway nothing making me really really happy happen..just bad bad bad bad incredibly bad luck..i wanna die now at this minute and reborn..haha and i realize i cant..


well i mention it before that the way i like to die..now i discover so way (for myself only)..hmmm whether by eating some ubat tidur well thats only if no ppl rescue me,if they do then i will be suffer..and then i plan on drinking some dinamo well that will die with a white and all the blup blup(i duno what to call those disgusting white bubble flow from the mouth) yikes...


just wait for time..well sometimes accidently kena langgar kereta at school..kedebang wah...nice o but the my corpse will fly away..yahoo...but if its there after that accident then i bet it will be blood all around and i will be the penunggu sekolah..haha...


okay enough with all of this nonsense(well i wish this nonsense is reality xp)..haha okay actually i am sad these few day for some reason..one of the reason is i dun like to gaduh with my family but then it happen a lot lately..my papa rarely scold me much (well sumtimes..)duno what sin i make in the past that make me deserve this all...


i duno whether its his working pressure or my fault..anyway i duno how to say but then that day (hmmm around18-4-08) i watch a disney channel original movie called "tru confession" its really touching..i was crying after that..i like disney channel original movie.some of it make me cry and its really touching..well i cry almost all the time..chiu..


hmmm i receive an email from my sis that contain 3 picture,the picture of a girl around 5 years old who's father is dead and i feel like "am i too lucky to have a daddy?" or "isn she bad luck than me?"..i have my own family and not an orphan but now she is..so i cried that girl is so young and yet she is only 5 years old..


despite the looks (hmmm maybe i am too nonsense?..well duno how to express the word..ppl nowaday almost all care about the looks..who will say heart with u??when u say heart they will say "who cares about heart??") no matter how beautiful u are but if u heart is black then u are just uglier than a dog..i just want to express this word I LOVE YOU to all my family members..


these day she din seem to be get along wit me well so i go and find other friend..and know what?now i can be alone and din feel that without her i am lonely..without her i can be more happy..who is her??hmmm i got mention her before but forget it..she is a NEVERMIND..


oh ya and i like anime,manga or comic (especially the gempak starz company one its nice..i owned some and each time i open and read it again and again sometimes it make me more relax..i hope to get all of them *dreaming*) kedebuk..ah i am awake..


well i plan on drawing some comic in my school magazine but i duno what to write..any ideas??well i need to pass it up before 30-4-08 i think so and i did some seloka 4science2,some funny stories and now i wan to draw some..


i plan to write a touching essay but i duno what to write..maybe some story about me??(thats too nonsense baaa) hmmm how bout some love story??(hmmm i scare the teacher scold me o)...i read some ppl essay at he school magazine that say about "a tragic birthday","what a girl really want"and "something about guys" its all nice..i hope to write one..


well my mid year exam is coming..hope to die before spm..so stress with all the sombong ppl around me..know u all pandai pandai la no need to chuan(sombong at) me la...okay fine i just need to do my best right??hmmm my papa always say that if lahir me better lahir an egg and eat it..well i suppose thats something if u say it will hurt someone...


i always dream to born in a normal family,anak tunggal(i promise not to be manja),pretty face,the one ppl will love(love i mean sayang) ..well u think i want to be like i am now??short,hate by ppl,anak bongsu.always be scold,not pretty,no brain,bad luck...not enough yet there are still more..


well i am tired of all this..oh ya how about die by tiredness??nice idea haha...i am already gila jor...bye bee..

....

dot dot dot dot..this title pretty simple..lately i din think/see any of those chinese guy that annoying me sebaliknye those a+4ac=0(adm formulae)..juz msn with them..well they din critic me these day..just got some annoying malay guys say go eat appeton then grow faster..u think i want this short meh..hmmm i think this is the first time ppl make me this angry(those two indian xxx)


well if i get revenge or hate them i will unhappy,suffer and stupid..bcoz ppl who get revenge is stupid..after u get revenge what u feel??more happy?..well it depend on that person..


if i say i malas do any hmwork then that means i malas to success..use ppl is stupid,being used is more stupid..if someone kiil the one u love then if u kill back that human ur beloved wont alive back rite?so whats means revenge??..


these day if i get invited to the mines or anywhere i will say "count me out" or "i'll pass" coz i rarely go out..i more like stay home eat,sleep,play com,when free do hmwork,sleep sleep sleep zzzz...


i see some of my fren little bro is good but some really bad..and my elder sister son is also pretty bad one..i still remember there is one time that he use kasut baling ppl de..scary..now i dun wan adik jor..i got two fren,they both got little bro but then their little bro is not the same one is extremely bad and the other one is extremely good..i know i am not the lucky to get the good one de la..so unfair...


these day with my mom a lot..when she say something,u cant even tahan to laugh or smile..dun even look at her..if u do u will laugh..she always make that cute face..


juz feel urself is the best..gain he confident..if i be a scientist i will create something like....hmmm if i get that thing i will blog it later..haha that day i remember de but today forget jor..chak cya ^^

worse thing happen..

actually i promise dun wan say foul word again but then those two(elina and gayathri) black roast PIG,GHOST,DOG,DINOSAUR,LIPAS,CICAK,XXXX,XXXX and so on go to hell la..u bxbx sxix go hell la...when rehat they say me sumkind critic me like bodoh,ugly,short,go out with that face..you two black roast pig would be better than me?!!black,bodoh than a pig,ugly than a ghost,face like hell GOD...


well actually i am in a normal mood today and this whole time i have been sabar with them..i give them smile and they reply me with those dinosaur face..they bring me to the 100th floor of madness...xxxx you la..dxmx u..go pok kai la..even my papa and mama din say me directly ugly,how come the stranger pig like them to say me??actually i am still okay if they din make me angry like this..


good ppl pindah from my skul and bad ppl like them left here..what the xxxx..they are worse than a pig! if its chinese fren(rapat one) say me like that then i got only a little bit hurt but not until i get angry like this..this is terrible for a pig to say me UGLY!!those two go look into the mirror first la!!like hell...no mirror use water la..no water simple..go hell la!!!xxxx...


if u stab me with a knife i dun care but then its more hurt if ur word come straight..when u use a knife then u will see me bleeding but then if u use ur word my heart is bleeding n u cant see through it..bak kata luka di tangan nampak berdarah,luka di hati siapa tahu?

ahem ahem.....

ohhhh my GOD...mid year exam coming soon and yet i am still dreaming...time sure go faster when u are happy so whats wrong if u make urself happy all the time??bcoz whether u are happy or sad the time is still going on without waiting for u...


hmmm this day kinda happy...relationship with soem strangers(girl) become 5050..well its better than 0/100..but then last week really to the hell..last week i am a bit(hmmm shud say a lot baa)hot tempered so sorry if i make anything wrong...


when i am tadika,primary skul,secondary (form 1,2 n 3) i used to depend on someone..i am pretty kecut that time..i even do THAT in my standard 1..so fish la...i did double thing thats so fish(shy) in my standard 1..so what??who cares about past...cheh...


oh ya i am wondering why ppl like to eat air liur burung??yikes...whats so sedap about air liur burung??haiz suan liao...


oh ya here is a sms my fren send to me..


Before marriage
HE:Yes.At last, It was so hard to wait.


SHE: Do you want me to leave??
HE: No!Don't ever think about it.
SHE: Do you love me?
HE: Of course.
SHE: Have you ever cheated on me?
HE: No!!Why are you even asking?
SHE: Will you kiss me??
HE: yes!!
SHE: Will you hit me??
HE: No way! I'm not such a kind of person
SHE: Can i trust you??
HE: Yes
SHE: Deaar!!


Now after married..
(read this conversation form the bottom to the top!)


this is why i dun like guys...say one thing and do another..and here is the email i receive form my sister...

BEFORE AND AFTER
Marriage Life Before and After !!


Before marriage.
Darling here..darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..


Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you.
"Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!


Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!


Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves."


Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"


Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After weddingRoses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you


Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la


Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak


lol...i laugh non stop after this..this is reallity...accept it baaa..this is girls life...hmmm my ideal guy is like my papa..he is sumkind like hmmm how i shud put it..of cuz from the positive angle..which idiot will say his/her,papa/mama form the negative angle..my papa is kinda of...

-don drink beer
-don rokok
-nice to my mama
-anything my mama want he will buy for her
-rarely fight with my mama


hmmm this all is already enuf for a gentleman(but its not so nice for the guy,if that guy is sederhana then he will go bankrap bcoz of the word "anything my mama want he will BUY for her haha...)well i cant say they never fight..they go through a lot when they are young..juz imagine..nothing will go as u plan..


hmmm here is another song i listening to these day..it only have the pin yin bcoz the chinese lyrics is weird and i think some word is missing..the title is hi hi bye bye by cindy wang xin ling



Ni sheng qi lai xiang huo zai,
wo ku qi lai jiu xiang shui zai,
wo men liang ge ren jia qi lai gang hao jiu bien cheng wu hai,
ni xi huan he bing niu nai,
wo xi huan he re niu nai,
ni de bing kuai jia dao wo de niu nai jiu wen nuan qi lai,
ni xi huan zou zuo bian yin wei ni shuo hui you an quan gan,
wo xi huan zou you bian yin wei wo jue de bi jiao lan man,
ni shui qi lai shi zao shang,
wo shui qi lai shi ye wan,
wo men yi qi fan lian yi jia yi deng yu shi ling ya dan,
wo gen ni shuo hi hi,
ni gen wo shuo bye bye,
wo men kan si qi kuai qi shi mo qi yi zhi zai,
wo gen ni shuo bye bye,
ni gen wo shuo hi hi,
ni shuo qi bu qi guai,
wo men jian guai yao gen guai,
san lun che,
pao de kuai,
shang mian zuo zhe lao tai tai,
lao tai tai qu bai bai,
xiao hou zi men dou hao high.


Ni sheng qi lai xiang huo zai,
wo ku qi lai jiu xiang shui zai,
wo men liang ge ren jia qi lai gang hao jiu bian cheng wu hai,
ni xi huan he bing niu nai,
wo xi huan he re niu nai,
ni de bing kuai jia dao wo de niu nai jiu wen nuan qi lai,
ni xi huan zou zuo bian yin wei ni shuo hui you an quan gan,
wo xi huan zou you bian yin wei wo jue de bi jiao lan man,
ni shui qi lai shi zao shang,
wo shui qi lai shi ye wan,
wo men yi qi fan lain yi jia yi deng yu shi ling ya dan,
wo gen ni shuo hi hi,
ni gen wo shuo bye bye,
wo men kan si qi guai qi shi mo qi yi zhi zai,
wo gen ni shuo bye bye,
ni gen wo shuo hi hi,
ni shuo qi bu qi guai,
wo men jian guai yao gen guai,
san lun che,
pao de kuai,
shang mian zuo zhe lao tai tai,
lao tai tai qu bai bai,
xiao hou zi men dou hao high.


Wo shuo bye bye qi shi jiu zai shuo hi,
bei chao zhe ni zou rao zhe di qiu yi zhou,
zou dao ni de bei hou cai gen ni shuo hi,
jiu lian lao tai tai ye shuo zhen you dao li,
ni wang dong zou,
wo jiu wang xi zou yi zhi dao zui hou,
wo men zai di qiu zai ling wai yi tou,
yi qu shou qian shou,
xiao hou zi dou pai shou,


Hi hi hi hi oh~~ bye bye bye
hi hi hi hi oh~~ bye bye bye
hi hi hi hi oh~~ bye bye bye
hi hi hi hi oh~~ bye bye bye

Ni shuo qi bu qi guai,
wo men jian guai yao gen guai,
wo gen ni shuo hi hi,
ni gen wo shuo bye bye,
ni ba shuang shou zhang kai,
wo jiu ba ni kun qi lai,
wo gen ni shuo bye bye,
ni gen wo shuo hi hi,
yi dian dou bu qi guai yin wei shi zai guai ke ai,
xiao lao shu shang deng tai tou chi deng you xia bu lai,
jiao ma ma ta zou lai ji li gu lu shuo bai bai,
xiao lao shu shang deng tai tao chi deng you xia bu lai,
jiao ma ma ta zou lai ji li gu lu shuo bai bai,

(and lastly got some creepy sound like *hehehe*)

this is a nice song...this lyrics i type it so if got any wrong typing plz don complain...chak cya .^_^.

the past.present and future....

these day he keep calling me and i juz let it rang until it stop..its like the past..he keep calling me and i keep pretending i din heard anything..but then i scare if i am with my phone one day i will answer the call and start the relation..its the same as the past so i dun wan to repeat i..i dun wan whether hurt him or myself...


when die leave corpse n hurt leave scars..what does love leave??it leave memories whether its hurt or lovely...oh ya before this blog i got type about the way to die rite so today i take a quiz in friendster ask that "how will u die"(around la)..


then i get the result i will die drowning..but i dun like that way leh..mati tanpa mayat or even some bad shark take me away..yer..but its okay if the shark is a gud one(how fancy where got shark thats gud)..hmmm dolphin is nice too ^^


skul is annoying and boring..i feel like "arg giv me a break" here is something i think and wrote it down while i was boring in skul..

i want to fly like a bird (can i?)
i wan to roar like a tiger (can i?)
i want to swim like a dolphin (can i?)
i wan success (can i?)

it sure is nonsense..i want success without trying..how pathetic..these day a lot of stress thing happen..a lot of chuan(arrogant,sombong) ppl in the skul whether the science,prinsip account nor the PERDAGANGAN all form 4 chuan..there is only a few ppl gud..


the gud ppl ternahagi kpd gud,nice,great attitude and some "feel free to help" or the kind "like to help ppl"..hmm lets see the list(of cuz i wont tell the full name..juz the last name nor the english name only"..there is no grade here all the same..i usually dun ask for expert but i ask for juz average...haiz can i?nvm i juz start with the class..so pick ur ideal girl from this list..if can i wan to list down their characteristic but i malas..

(I EDITED THIS PART ON APRIL 10!!BELOW)
this list is all leng lui...and nice nice de without any sombong in this list..some maybe got a bit la..

4s1-pei min(expert)..
4s2-chai jing(expert),shoo yuen(cute n expert),soik yin(bio expert..remember her my class take number 1..sob..and then pijak/sindir me..sob sob..),pei yin(expert)..
4s3-hmmm not so rapat..and plus i am not sure their name..maybe joe n xiao wei(i think)
4s4-siew chong and mei fong(both leng lui)
4s5-hui ying,fui yen,mickey(oh ya this is a girl named yi ching),shu wen, hui wen(NOTICE ALL LENG LUI) anymore??i forget..i think this all baa

4pa1-minnie (well she is pretty mini n cute named mun yee) and jia ying(i duno coz she got a little sis that named i duno jia ying or jia yi jor,sorry)
4pa2-hmmm i dun like guys so this class has the most chinese guys (well i go do same research..lol no la juz i think this class has the most guys only)

4p1 and 4p2-hmmm this two class is the class i dislike the most..know why??the are two guy i dun like(can call my enemy ^^ i duno which class are them)


hoho his all..haiz papa say buy me a skul bag de..my skul bag rosak until haiz...chak cya @.@

uhhhhh sob sob dunno wat to do la..

hmmmm these day so stress lor..that day(i think last thursday) i see him on the way to bilik nilam..well he coolly walk infront of me..and then i FEEL that he stare at me by looking down (grrr whats with that..i know i am short la..do u think i want to be born so short??i also wan to the one thats what ppl call PERFECT but if its normal than i could be happy too)..


and then after that day its the day i see another HIM that is my first enemy (this is what i tot before but then now i realize that hating him doesn have any merit for me but then i also cant look into his face,if i do i will remember the past..so i juz can avoid until one day i can fully forget everything)its always like this the thing i want to forget then i will remember deeply and the thing i want to remember then i will forget all of it...haiz pathetic..


i am seriously damaged..i will self-recovering..does this world have something call love medicine for forget the pain and hurt??hmmm guess not then if i can be a scientist i will create one..and also the medicine to kill myself without blood,scars,and perfectly die in a pretty body..hehe..now also i think of that..


1-if i drink dinamo than i will vomit those white white de(duno what to call it but in the tv i always see it xp)
2-if jump form the top of somewhere then got a lot blood flowing..yer i dun wan..
3-die by open the gas and close all the window..hmmm this will die with a white face dun wan..
4-cutting the hand..yer the blood flowing..yikes..dun wan
5-eat or drink some poison..hmm this is better..


well even die have its own method rite..i chose to die drinking some medicine that keep me sleep 4eva..hehe..almost all i see form tv..for those KID dun try this!!bcoz....this is my method dun copy mine..


haha i am an anime lover so i like collect komic..if i am in a bad mood i will read them and get my mood up by a bit..(well better than nothing)..i buy a lot of them (of cuz my papa buy it)..and also i like collecting book than using it (i mean the note book that have colour)..i duno what year both of my sis giv me 2 books for christmas present then i still kept it until now..sometimes if i want to remember their memory i will look at the book and start thinking a bunch of thing..


everything doen not going as u plan..sometimes its even upside-down..when i am a kid around standard 1 i dun wan go skul but then my papa say "go la" and now i wan go he said "dun go la"...what la..really upside-down lor..


now i know the feeling when HE dump me that time and the feeling dumping other ppl..here is the different..

being dump-
it feels hurt(if u still like that ppl but then its not hurt at all if u dun like that person anymore)..and even u will hate that person until........(duno)..

dumping other ppl-
it feels somekind...relief..and happy..regret (if there is a reason like ur parent block) feeling happy and relief bcoz finally get of the one that u dun like and take out some stress(for me)..


i dun know how to say but of cuz the one thats being dump is much hurt so i understand his feeling by now so if he say wanna be strangers with me,i also dun mind coz i know the feeling..i also once feel like wanna hate HIM 4eva but then now the feeling of hate start to decrease..hating him make me remember the past..but i duno what a guy will think maybe he is the different from me..well maybe he do want to be strangers with me 4eva..


these day watch a lot of anime..and my 2nd sis also so childish one..i never think she is so childish..lol but cute ^^ she send me a sailormoon link..lol..well when i am around...(hmmm duno la) i used to watch pokemon,digimon,sailor moon and so on but then now i watch a lot of other anime..i dun like watching cartoon..it make me sick(but skul guys make me more sick)..those cartoon face is not nice a lot also like a box head..anime is great its almost like real..


and also i remember around the time my sis teach me abc..guess what i first learn??haha guess it...and then that time i go pasar with my papa and my papa buy me a big big doll..taller than me one and i play it with my 2nd sis..she said "do whatever this doll is doing ya.." then i say "okay"(how stupid)..and she take the doll right hand so i get up my right hand then she make the doll upside-down..uhh so i am laughing there is not all i can do as the doll..haha..


why girls is always dikatakan "sedap dipakai layu dibuang"??izit looks that important than heart??haiz nvm looks and heart also cant eat rite??they are common..or izit bcoz the guy is playboy?? *sick of guys*


oh ya here is another song recommended by him to me..


Artist: Elliot Yamin
Song: Wait For You
Album: Popular Songs

[Verse 1]
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.


fuhh..finally its over..this is a nice song..oh ya maybe i wont use phone anymore so don contact me with my phone ya...juz contact me in msn(for my fren that have my msn address only girls)

please help me...onegai(help in japanese)...

anybody who read this blog..tell me what i shud do..omg..see here is a story..


once upon a time the was a guy and a girl..the guy said something like "i will still treat u as my sis even if we break" before they break but then when they break he change his mind and tell the girl that "can we jue jiao(jue jiao means no any relationship even fren)?i dun wan to think of u anymore" the girl feel like what the hell..and she ask him "why?" and he answer "cause before we break i though it will be nothing if we break it up but things not rely happen as i think after that i was been damaged seriously i dun wan to think about anything of u..i dun wan start hating u so just changed and bacome strangers" then the girl say "i am sorry..i know sorry doen not mean anything to u but i cant do anything else..can i?can we start from the initial??" and he answer "i dun wan!"..the girl said "okay fine,hope u find ur true love and the one who love u too"



the girl opinion "what the heck dun say anything if u though!!"think before u promise me!!and now u break the promise..first u promise me and now u break the promise..it hurt me..u think only u are damaged??i also damage..u XXXXXXX idiot!is this what u do to the one u like??sound like good but then...the last sentence i say is only fake!!



and answer me what will u do??please leave a comment please..the girl duno what to do and need help..arigato gozaimaz(thank you)..


on today also i see him..XXXXXX %$#@&%$#@@!#$$%! and he walk coolly infront of me and i know he is there but i am also the same i look straight and walk away..this is what happen each time i see him..if i say he is inhuman,monster,scary then i am one too..its my fault to accept it in without thinking first in the first place..well i am not a toy(when u bored with me u throw me away..thats sound....haiz)


now i am phobia to guys..they say one and do another one..omg help me..i dun wan to live with them anymore..they are scary,inhuman,monster,wild,ghost,gin,vampire,zombie and so on..i hope there will be an answer..i really need some comment to answer this GIRL..tq chak cya..