my old fren come back from vacation liao lur...

who i mean bu my old fren??well its not a human its......................stress well stress always is with me but then it go to vacation last week so i am free now stress back lur..nid to find tuityen centre..uhhh gonna....


lately listening to a song..around the world..

ATC-Around the world
Lyric:
The kisses of the sun
were sweet I didn't blink
I let it in my eyes
like an exotic drink
the radio playing songs
that i have never heard
i don't know what to say
oh not another word
just la la la la la
it goes around the world
just la la la la la
it's all around the world
just la la la la la
and everybody's singin'
la la la la la
and now the bells are ringin'
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
inside an empty room
my inspiration flows
now wait to hear the tune
around my head it goes
the magic melody
you want to sing with me
just la la la la la
the music is the key
and now the night is gone
still it goes on and on
so deep inside of me
i long to set it free
i don't know what to do
just can't explain to you
i don't know what to say
oh not another word
just la la la la la
it goes around the world
just la la la la la
it's all around the world
just la la la la la
and everybody's singin'
la la la la la
and now the bells are ringin'
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la


The kisses of the sun
around, around, around, around, around, around, around the world
la la la la la
it goes around the world
just la la la la la
it's all around the world
just la la la la la
and everybody's signin'
la la la la la
and now the bells are ringin'
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
around,around,around,around the world
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la
la,la,la,la,la,la,la

and also a mermaid melody..in my profile right side there is some song one of it are the final mermaid song..i like it ^^ chak thats all cya..

wah yesterday shuang...

yesterday got cousin wedding so i enjoy...on the same date i got skul in the morning so i juz go at night one oli..





first at skul feel boring so many ppl "baling kapal terbang"(din go skul)..haiz nvm baa since at night i will be happy..





and then start study..in class i get scold by teacher coz forget to write name haiz suan baa..since at night i will be happy..then rehat so boring..haiz suan baa since at night i will be happy..





then my fren go tolong cikgu and left me there so i go back to class ALONE..really angry o but i think suan baa since tonight i will be happy..





then hmmm feel enjoy helping in the class,chatting with my class teacher very nice de..oh ya talking about teacher nice there is one teacher i always do like her thats my biology teacher pn.Zubaidah..she is cute,nice,never use force,patient and so on ^^





that day pn.Zubaidah ask me to challenge him so i think "hmmm its okay to listen to her,well if other teacher then the effect wont be so much but if its her..i will try my best on bio!! xp)


okay back to the point then got a fren that ask me teman her yesterday (thats one of the reason i go to skul) but then she go with her fren..hmmm that make me furious..u ask me come then u go with ur fren..so feel kinda lonely..


but nvm i think "since today is a happy day then nvm la"..and then i walk out of the skul..walk and walk to the place i wait for my daddy then someone say "ei pinjam rm2 ehhh bukan pinjam suma yg awak ada lah.."hmmmm so....nex tym i see her i gonna run first!..


nvm then my papa come and tell me that he drink the tea liao lur..hmmm nvm..at night i get ready and go..at the party there was....leng chai,leng lui..i wan take the bride picture but i din get it so pathetic o...


eat until i am full..then they chatting chatting chatting eating eating saying "cheers!!!!!!" haha see who more loud..^^


i am the youngest in this family..maybe there is a girl same year as me but then she is older than me by month (oh ya i duno that ppl..juz my sis told me)i dun really know muc ppl and my memory is low..


then i drink a little bit red wain..emmm it fell a little bitter bcoz i try drink it sekali gus then start feel hot!!so gangster like huh??hmm go toilet excuse me..this is my first time well haven 18 drink wain then when 18??uhhh dun wan imagine it..


bcoz of today lonely i feel like i shud change..see the change..

dulu..
when ppl chuan i hate and curse them with the foul word..

now..
when ppl chuan i will anggap them transparent and never exist..


hmmm see the different??no use for me to curse them..bcoz the curse din be reallity...wah the alcohol still got a bit effect until now @.@

ahem ahem...^^

hmmm this day kinda bad luck and down but there is still some good luck..if its fate that i have a bad luck then nothing i can do its juz to ACCEPT it..and not trying to decline nor change it..it wont give me any MERITS to against it..^^


and plus the good student always pindah and left the...haiz(duno how to say)here..always one by one good ppl left this skul and always one by one those ppl get in this skul..why?if by chance someone name yin ger see this blog i hope she will be happy everydays and i will see her in the future..she is the one that i like the most in skul..


thinking of somthing like "i will take all guys(hmmm only fren)as girls so that i wont hate them and be kind to them.."its not that i cant hate them but that if i hate them that also means i love them..but this is kind of frenship love..its complicated..


something change these day..i am happy!!hehe..kinda normal relationship and not the one that hate like i used to be..i love u all ^^


let my tears wash away past memory..well i rarely cry but i often smile and laugh..i see a movie it says that "even the evil ppl,if he/she can drop a tear that means he/she still isn too bad" every human born with a honest and nice heart its depent on how the parents or environment and also last but not least the person himself/herself..


these day i enjoy listening music a lot ^^..i listen 2 music juz to bring up my mood and i dun interest in any kind of phone model talk its nonsense and no merits..oh ya skul got a news say that "this year whoever got the highest mark in any subject,the top student in the whole form,the top student in the whole class each test/exam will get present" this all for galakkan pelajar but...i want get it T.T


sometimes i even ask whats love??izit for play??hmmm for fun??hmmm i really dun interest and understand this complicated thing..its more complicated from my study..@.@


and who is love to??family??(of cuz)..fren??strangers??hmmm whatever...i juz dun understand..these day kinda free from...him...hehe..finally i am free..i wanna tell the whole world i am FREE but not from my hmwork lor..


still a bunch of hmwork waiting 4 me..chak cya ^^

fuh.....feel kind da extremely.......

finally,i say it yesterday to him that...........he seem dun mind so it relieve me a bit..extremely...sad?relieve?both of them...sad coz he is so good to me and relieve that i am now back to the usual me in form 1..in from 1 i am single,all the thing seem to be great(hope every now and then also the same)and finally i can concentrate on my study...


today got take picture for skul magazine..haiz why am i always the one at the last!that arrange ppl so sui that firstly she call me go tengah then change change change and finally i am at the last -_-''


today also i see him when i first walk in skul but then i juz walk my own way and it is the same as him..we are totally strangers now..but let it be like this..i dun hope to be more than this..


these day pretty much thing happen huh..yeah really stress..with my may coming exam..juz gambateh bah..lets do it together xp


todays blog until now la...cya ^^

.........always the same title

bored....bored these day loitering loitering and so on...feel muc stress but something change..my relation with bla bla bla...but then there is one more thing that keeps bugging me...i need to say i but i duno how to start it so i giv him a chance to say it..


okay fine he is blur and....i am gonna say it..."lets break up"??sound lame..."i dun like u anymore"??sound hurt..."be my brother"??sound childish..."errr errr l...ee....tssss brrrreeeak uppppp"??sound stupid..."break up"??sound blur...."go to hell"??thats not it..."good bye"??sound okay.."lets be fren back"??hmmm sound a little hurt...


arhhhhhhhh!!!!!crazy how can i say it?okay fine...how bout "be my brother"??thats more human like huh??...okay fine today i will say it..i promise coz that day i ask him this question(again)..."what is ur reaction if we break up??" he answer me "nvm for me can be wit u oledy very happy although if we break up i will still treat u as my sis i just wan to giv u a happy life if u happy then i will be happy too" and i answer "thx a lot"..


from that time i feel.....(duno how to express it in word)...i will remember today is the day which i break with him...i know that someday i will regret but if u keeps on going like this in the middle of the heaven and hell i will fall and black out to hell...maybe i will tell him tonight..someday in the future if he open internet and read this i hope he will understand..i want to say "good bye" to him forever...


i am a girl that wont satisfied if i don own the thing i like..now that i own everything i like..example??hmmm lets see first its my laptop then its handphone then mp4 and so on..(show off a bit la xp)..smiling to him make me feel.....weird....(duno how to express it)


somewhere in my heart now i am feeling happy and sad...happy is that my relationship going 5050 and sad is come form stress...tomolo i think got ambil gambar for class picture..


then got a lot activity like moping the floor for teacher at every saturday(i forget when jor)got mark o..then is the qm activity stay back for kehadiran form around 3:30 to 6:40 huh?u think i dun need do anything?do as u wish?what the...


omg...feel like want to black out my mind and start a new life by??reborn...oh ya since i am in form 4 then got a few new student is kind,pretty,good and cute too..they are famous in although they are new maybe because her brother known by everyone...


hmmmm so............kagum not jealous la..well got a bit xp..new student sure are great...i miss my kindergarden,primary skul,secondary skul(form 1,2,3) fren and teacher very muc..they teach me a lot of thing like study and of cuz include ahem ahem...


the first fren i meet in kindergarden was....ahem ahem sorry low memory...and thats same as my primary but still i like someone a malay guy which is so cute maybe just because of that so that since then my sis always call me by his name and also a chinese guy haha i am a play girl..


but then it change from fren to enemy when we have an argue that he did it!!(a chinese guy)he is my first enemy in secondary skul..and second chinese guy which are also my enemy are him!!and so on...i sure make a lot of guys enemy..well they are unreasonable,hot tempered...thats the same as me xp...


my first fren in secondary name hmmm lets see shu wen(she is the first i met in secondary skul,i think,we always fight for small matter and then be fren back and so on xp),yin ger(wah this is the one thats great in my life she is a great helper and same as fui yen),fui yen(nice,cute,good,pretty and so on)..


kevin (my FIRST,dulu,opinion is that he is kind,gangster like,nice to fren and cute ^^)adrian(thats dulu now he is a totally stranger for me,well can say),joon sean(hmmm this one lets see he is some kind cool,gangster haha this is only my opinion for dulu),kang jiun(this is my fren when we are in form 1 only,now hmmm duno how to say complicated),yie tian(good) and so on but some i dun really rapat with..


and then go to my form 2 and 3 some still remain with me and some get really high (i mean they clever and get to the top class)wahhh...fine then form 3 i was again same class as him..we never talk,never see each other even we are in the same class..he equal to my nightmare..okay fine...


but now its much like hell than nightmare coz my result totally impossible!!fuhh so tired after typing all this..wargh...feel??tired,bored,nonsense anything else??hmm feel relieve after typing this all making this a memory then sometimes i will read it back and i udn need to keep this memory in my mind..make it a history when i grow up..chak cya,tk cr ^^

today's second blog...

juz now he call me and i decided to answer it..i am too cruel that everytime he call me i always let it ring until it stop but then sometime i ACCIDENTLY answer so i will say "my phone rosak" am i too cruel??..but today i decided to answer it and feel i am too cruel..

i always know his feeling but i never answer him..i decided to forget him but i find out there is two him deeply in my heart maybe this is the feeling of friendship bcoz other ppl also is there(deeply in my heart) i dunno how to do..

reject him is not a human doing,lying to him is not either..everytime he call me also say the same thing "do u have free time on 13-2-08?" its that everytime he will ask me out gai gai but then i say "see first lor" bcoz i dun wan to reject but then it turn out i am hurting him more..

hmmm on 12-3 which means spm result day i want go times square with my fren la but my fahter dun wan giv me go so on 13-2-08 is the same lor..i giv him chance and then i also break that chance with my own hand..

oh ya juz now blog i got say about him and this blog him is NOT the same person its different ppl..well juz let them be there baa..i dun have so muc time to think of them well juz take this as a memory baa since i cant forget them then let everything be like this..mayb somewhere in someplace i will need this memory..

let them stay there and be my frens foreva..i dun wan change it..fuh now feeling and juz now at the evening totally different ^^

awaken,reborn...

these day feel weird..i dun smile like usual..i like to be call "hepi fruit 开心果(around la well i duno chinese which means the one always smile and laugh coz i want to be the one thats smiling and laughing at the last~~~~)"i like to make ppl around me smile and laugh but there is few ppl who i cant even make them smile and i feel like "why izit i am so useless??better die??" yeah 100 % bingo..


that day i say to my father with a serious manner "i gonna use this whole cuti to study the adm" and then i tell this to myself yesterday "karen u need to wake up from ur stupid and illusion world this is a world full of hepiness if u could be more great to others" when i cry so much because of a movie and also the feeling..


i am crying while typing this blog(100% true) i duno why this weird feeling..i believe in balasan..i promise to make my family and fren smile 4eva but sumtym even i try but it turn to be "get out of my way u useless RUBBISH,stupid!!"..


there is some ppl who i cant even make them smile and sebaliknya i make them suffer..i dun wan this anymore..i dun wan to make any enemy more..i wan to love all ppl include my own enemy..past is past so forget the memory that past..the worse thing to do when u have nothing to do is to do nothing..


u hav 2 ear and 1 mouth so listen more than u talk..if u let me make one wish i hop everything go back to the initial where i haven be born and let me stay in the place between heaven and hell..if u let me have the remote which can slow and forward then time i will de the same thing..if that wish cant come true then i want hepiness but not all in this world have it..only 0.1%have it so is i am so lucky??no...

here is a lyrics for the song anything but ordinary sang by avril lavigne..

Sometimes I get so weird,
I even freak myself out,
I laugh myself to sleep,
It's my lullaby,
Sometimes I drive so fast,
Just to feel the danger,
I wanna scream,
It makes me feel alive,
Is it enough to love?,
Is it enough to breath?,
Somebody rip my heart out,
And leave me here to bleed,
Is it enough to die?,
Somebody save my life,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,
To walk within the lines,
Would make my life so boring,
I want to know that I,
Have been to the extreme,
So knock me off my feets,
Come on now give it to me,
Anything to make me feel alive,
Is it enough to love?,
Is it enough to breath?,
Somebody rip my heart out,
And leave me here to bleed,
Is it enough to die?,
Somebody save my live,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,
Let down your defences,
If you look you will see,
that this world is a beautiful,
accident turbulent suculent,
opulent permanent, no way,
I wanna taste it,
Don't wanna waste it away,
Sometimes i get so weird,
I even freak myself out,
I laugh myself to sleep,
It's my lullaby,
Is it anough,
Is it enough to breath?,
Somebody rip my heart out,
And leave me here to bleed,
Is it enough to die?,
Somebody save my life,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,
Is it enough?,
Is it enough to die?,
Somebody save my life,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please,

-end-

after i type this song i think about him..even i can lie to other ppl that i have forget him but somewhere deep in my heart he is stilll there(the virus that damage my life)i juz cant erase him from my memory..that day b4 my adm exam means wednesday around 2 days ago..my fren all 1 pair pair and only me standing there(holding add math book)to be a SPORTLIGHT oh my GOD..


then my fren say "go find one la" hmm feel like.."why??" suan liao..there is some ppl that i hate so much i even want to kill them and dun want them to appear in my life!!especially him..sometimes i get so jealous with other ppl bcoz her family love herso muc but why mine...


why???why???izit past live fault??or next life fault??i juz wan to have a great family,the world greatest but i know there is no way i could have it..coz...coz...i juz want ordinary live around zero but why i get negative??and other ppl get positive..i dun care ppl who get positive but at least i dun wan negative!..feel better after typing this blog..juz wish to have the ordinary life..please!

bla bla bla.......

no title..hmmm finally got some free time to blog lur..how are ya all??gud..well i am not too good nor too bad lor...mood okay i blog mood bad i .......guess lah...hmmm actualy i want show the pic of my family and the pic i took at genting but malas coz too tired from exam today well well bm is rumusan seem okay to me then bi(kacang goreng la,so ahem ahem)haha..the math uhhh i tembak the question ask bla bla bla....find a and p and then i write there a=(forget the number) p=(forget the number) wuuu wuuu wuuu well i make sure i read it LAST MINUTES but then i forget it all after 1 second..hohoho worse huh well my memory low mah..not like the genius(until crazy one)i am normal punye...okay bye but before that show some pic that showing i am floating on the air(between the heaven and hell)hohoho...actually thats the pic that i took from the 9th floor guess so...xp..or can say i am jumping down wooohooo...enjoy..adiue..jianne(both means bye bee)

its like the song "twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what u are..up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky"hahaha bye bee