Beloved.

as titled.this post is about my beloved larrrr.hehex.

i liked?loved? you.but i can never make it.i just wish u lived happily for u are so kind.i also duno why i loved u so much.i gave up owning u.bcoz its just IMPOSSIBLE.

haha.just wish u was my friend (until i die) . that will be more than enuf.looking at ur cheerful smile makes me skip a beat.

thank you for being my friend.if we lost contact someday.that day will be more terrible than world end to me. TT loves you.as a friend.wish u would stay by my side.that will be the greatest gift for my bday+christmas. =3

^^

no more title to write.felt happy~for some reason.

oh ya did mention that kok san san from the time i go listen undang resembles my beloved a lots? =)

my beloved.friends kept on asking me to go go go.but there are also some asking me to let go if it hurts that much.

my conscience told me never to let go unless i really reachED hell.now i like her more and more.like and love was diff.i also duno why i like her so much.her personality?looks?actions?studies?

haha i had no idea.she is someone willing to help without asking for paybacks.soon i will be like u dear. =)

so dear to me.last year...i get 2 bday cake due to some reason.first cake on 23-12-08 when celebrating at times square.first time going out with frens.felt great.

second cake.cell group activity.that one...err...*speechless*

this year if i count it it will be .first cake is on 15-12-09.with friends.second WILL BE on 23-12-09 that i think will be a bday+christmas cake. ><>

tomorrow the actual plan is going genting highland.....cancelled that due to my undang test is on the same day.haha.but later cancelled undang test too,reason is...too lazy la.gimme a break already.bday also need go take exam?lol.

then last option.go celebrate bday with 2 others frens is the best of best choice!! =3

last year there are 6 of us(me included).this year 3 of us. TT . kinda dissapointed.cake increasing.friend decreasing?? ==ll

oh ya the third cake was from daddy.he asked that day "what cake u wanted?" .emm. cake...what i really wan is can u borrow me ur car? lol. dream laaaaaaa.

that will be the third cake.WILL BE=not yet. =3

looking forward to tomorrow~~xixi~

what to do?what to do?just now play uno.people add my cards when i felt guilty of adding theirs.haiz.life is like that de.

u be good others 20% will be good to u.i planned on being a good girl de but now...seems like i need to act before other ppl act eh? =) i dont wan to be the one being hurt anymore!!whatever it takes.

i dont wan to be the naive me who think if i be a good girl everyone will be good to me too.hmph anyone think like that is not other than the NAIVE group. =) i hate that idiots feeling.

this gotta be a long long post. =3

alright.this is a post about what happened yesterday+today. =)

yesterday woke up at 6.30am(late.actually need to woke at 6am).then prepare and zoom~7am arrived at the driving centre.damn nervous.then went in "sri antara's driving license" that uncle there damn scary.plus the atmosphere then hor silent,cold,gloomy..... ==

my father ask "is mr.choong here ar?" he said "yeah.take license here la!here got jpj sign there cetak rompak punya!!" ==ll.damn u.ask oni no nid use high tone.then went eat nearby @@.i thought we went in the right one then i realize rupa rupa nya itu cetak rompak's title is "mr.choong driving centre" ==ll

what the...that "cetak rompak" is not really the problem.just a nickname xD.well that "cetak rompak" is better MANNER that the one got jpj sign de ==ll.

leng chai summore xD.no la.then when we went in,there is 3 chinese boy,1 indian boy and 1 chinese girl sitting there dy~ahh chinese girl i thought i shud go make fren with her but very nervous plus she looks arrogant ==.then forget about it la ><.

wait for the boss!then went in the car(unser).there is a foreigner there. O.O . haha.then at the last row i sat in the middle. == why me?.like hot dog.ahhh.then one sit one my left is that chinese girl.sit in the middle row is all chinese boys.sit in the row with the driver is indian boy. o.o so syiok o~

then on the way.snore snore~ == the chinese girl beside me just fall asleep.what the?can u really sleep just like that?...i cant >< . sleep on me pulak tuh. ==

the atmostphere in the car = silent! scary la weh.talk something la TT.arrive at nilai.driver:take out ur IC~~then on the way go inside a.k.a in the middle of the road.we heard "negaraku" that chinese and indian boys stand up straight in front of me ==.

then that foreigner also stand up straight beside me (i wonder if she know whats that ==). one more chinese boy stand behind me.that chinese girl already went in.i wonder if she had failed and come take again or she had pass and come listen again bcoz the driver said to her like this "u went in first la.u know liao de hor?... =) "

what the.we are not kids la. TT . heard lagu negaraku still need stand up straight in the middle of the road TT.so malu.then went pass the cafeteria.then stand up "so kang kang"(chinese idiom) in the middle of the registeration centre. ==ll.wait wait........

called out my name.yay~but they rob my rm5 for insurance ==.finally can enter class and listen liao =3

then sat down at an ISOLATED chair xD.know why i called it isolated?bcoz hor.err the class is long long one.xD i mean in the middle part there is 3 chair de.right side 2 chair and left side 1 chair ==. i mean like ... that whole row from up to down is 1 chair de.then in the middle whole row from up to down is 3 chair de.

then a bunch of pasar ppl talk talk talk. ==.the one sit just across me is a chinese girl.looks nice.wanted to say "hi" but malu and damn nervous.so forget it xD.

then the same car with me de guy named "yip kah meng" sat in front of my row of ISOLATED chairs xD i rmb well becoz we got the same middle name.i know it when the instruktor came in and he said "woah why so many ppl?i was told to teach 50 only" ==.i think in my heart "how the hell will i know? =="

ah before this we waited a long long time for him.while i study a bit about roundabout and the simpang 4. =3 it was fun analysing which car goes first and then which.then the instruktor came in.with his fierce face ==.damn scared.*shiver*

he was an indian.oh ya in the class all was form 5,form 4,other,an aunty and an old man.mostly form 5 after spm la.like i said just now he came in and shocked by so many ppl.some without chair de standing there.then he called out name~~and then he said "for those who i dont call names get out of my class!main masuk saja!isk budak sekarang nih"

hmph.and then finally settled down.and he said "hey u orang ah tak boleh duduk satu geng satu geng.saya nak tukar tempat.saya akan tukar tempat dari semasa ke semasa." err in that class got 2 pair of twins chinese boys.a pair cool and a pair cute.woah.lucky~ xD.

and then put me in the middle row and in the middle seat.left is a girl named kok san san (if correct spelling la.and that yip kah meng also duno correct spelling or not xD) .and then right is an indian girl named mega(something) forgot liao la~ xD.i know bcoz the instruktor told us to be fren with the one beside us.

then he said "u all gt the jpj text book ka?" ==ll. i forgot to bring mine.then go buy with san san~xD then hor kena rob rm6 again == nasib baik my father got gimme some money~ ><

and then when masuk class the instruktor stand there.again...with his fierce face.then he asked "oh u two are fren ar?" . we answered "errrr..." then we sat down then he said "owh u two sit togather ka?mana boleh macam itu..." ==ll.XXXX i reli felt damn beh song liao.

so i stand up with my rotten personality and sat down to a place he asked me to.hmph.whatever u ask.i need to face u 2 times only(or maybe once.after u pass P still need to listen once more.but duno if the same instruktor or not jeh.) cheh.change seat mai change lor.scare u ar?its not like i came with fren.

i sit where also alone de lah.blekkkkk~~ then he makes some jokes.like what is P?he asked every one.everyone answered "dont know".then he said "P is...an alphabet!!where did u all study ur tadika?what is P and what P stand for is diff!!" ==

what also u said larrr.==.then many more funny things.and about the road sign.there is a cow sign de.he asked us to take out a pen and change some information about that sign.he said "alright.bila anda lihat sign ini anda perlu perlahankan kenderaan kan?and then u tukar.........u tulis.......kira berapa ekor lembu di situ and then terbangkan seekor" xD .lol everyone laugh like hell.

lol we so serious take out pen and ready to write liao de leh. (or is it me only? lolx.)

and then he said "did u know 10 years ago around ...... got car accident and 28 out of 30 ppl died" then i think how would i care and how would i know when i am only 7? == . then he say to a student "okay awak ialah ketua polis saya ialah pemberita. ketua polis apakah ulasan anda tentang kes ini?"

the student dont know how to answer xD or is it shy?lol.then he said "aiyo dont know ka?apa pun duno.dari pagi tadi tanya apa pun dont know.apalah u orang.okay la u jadi pemberita tanya saya pasal ulasan itu.saya jadi ketua polis." then the student asked.and instruktor answered.

"masih dalam siasatan lar. aiyo itu pun tak tau ka?biasa kan selalu jawab macam itu.siasat siasat sampai 10 tahun satu habuk pun tarak" lol.this one i damn agree.

and then talk about study tiba tiba he said his experience about going korea,china and japan.this three only.aiya no nid u tell i also wan go those 3 country la. ==

he said there damn nice must go.then japan there punya road got vacuum de.but malaysian where do they put the vacuum?in their poket..... == he said what also damn nice one == he even asked us to try alcohol and drugs. #==

the more he said the more he saying malaysian sucks.malaysian this that.....haha but for some reason i 99.9% agree with him. xD

then skip skip skip....until 3pm.wooohooo class finished. xD once again.stand there "so kang kang" to take IC ==ll.then wait ppl gathered.

balik lorr.this time 6 guys and 2 girls ==.i sit infront~yay~i thought very syiok.but hor.....got a laptop there == and i dont wan sit on the laptop and dont wan be so rude to take the laptop to other place. ( i wonder if the indian sat there got that laptop there?==)

then i sit like that for an hours + my waist so damn pain man...erm lalu jusco and carrefour the driving asked "who wan go down from here?i no nid fetch one person xD" == so funny mea? ==.

then hor there is this one chinese boy.looks kinda cute.got introduce himself to me before his name i think is Jack. lol.he was like turn here turn there.until the flat there his voice of direction seems like going fullstop so i thought he lived there...so i din really look at him much.bcoz thats common de.

but it ended up hor...he lived in a damn big house ==.i turn at the back to look at his face *shocked* OMG!(the driver also look at me for a while xD damn malu.) err regretted not taking a picture there.i dont know that place existed.one day u must go and see.around that cheras perdana there.that taman name is taman putra (something) forgot liao leh.i think i will rmb his face for a while now. xD

that place is like mansion.woah.first time see de leh.i wanna take pic de but so malu~ xD . that place is what ppl called "cartoon/cinderella's house" .3 floor.damn big. not only a few there.but more than 30 houses like that i think.woah really nice~~i also wan house like that TT (absolutely dreaming =3)

and then fetch this fetch that.kah meng,an indian boy,a chinese boy and me balik serdang's driving centre there.lol.they all gone back liao.i waited alone for my daddy. TT.

sit there i think of a lots of things.i think of "collect anything u wanted but dont collect demerit points" =3

gone back.slept at 8pm.woke at 12am+ bcoz forgot to switch off my laptop.then woke again at 7am bcoz daddy called for breakfast.......then my normal rountine~~ ahhh. =3 listening undang is something fun if the instruktor is funny~ =3

haiz next wednesday de going out all cancelled ler.undang test more important. xD actually can choose when de. between wednesday,saturday and sunday but i choose wednesday without knowing thats my day~ ><

jya~thats all.


Editted.21-dec.1:52PM.
woah read again and found many mistakes.well i lazy to checked it one-by-one ler.as long as you understand enuf liao. =3

uhhh.

one more bye bye.to my BH097A073!!i am free from prison xD.

and then one more exam.my license exam.instead of wishing me luck please teach me how to drive(for those who know ler) xD.wishing luck(can also but for junior who duno how to drive xD).

gonna be busy eh?.haha.holiday=go out la!.he he.erm.24 wan go count down at genting wor.23,24&25.like hell i can.i am still tied up.

okay nvm.if parents gonna tied me up until i am 30 then i also nvm la.if they dont wanna let go of their hands now i am gonna be a noobie who does not know anything in the future.

i just wanna go see movie,sing k,ice skating(first time),eat with fren,window shopping and etc~~ xD.


Editted 10:40pm
internet connection damn lag.i waited for 2 hours to download 遇見-stefanie sun ==ll.actually i already had that song.but diff singer.==ll damn.i heard this song in my father car and felt it was so familiar. ==ll.bcoz that song i always hear de.so meaningful.

bye bye.

need say bye bye to many things and some people too.bye bye shoes,uniform,secondary,skull.....and etc.bye bye to people is my classmate.our path is diff so i dont think i will see them anymore =)

that chance.had grow larger ^^.kai xin~.she had opened herself to me.today make a small cold joke and seeing her smiles make me so happy.tq for bringing light in my life =). i need u.but i dont think our path is the same.

i am sad thinking of giving u up.but...i dont know what to do anymore when it comes to you.i dont wan to leave yet i cant stay so close to you bcoz my desire will grow if u are near me always.

give up?like hell i will.continue? i dont know.if my feeling will hurt u one day then i will willlingly give up and be the one that hurt-ED instead of hurting u,bcoz u are my precious stone.

saaaa.back to the topic.ahhhhh daddy changed his mind AGAIN. == next time he change to let me be a kindergarten teacher again i will definitely grab it and dun wan let it go ==ll.

he asked me to work for him in his office.well there's my brother there.he is already so useful.why need me?rm1500.i felt guilty.what to do?! chikuso...i am not short of money.but if being a kindergarten teacher at puchong make me rugi then its not a WORK anymore.

see?go puchong i need lalu tol,my minyak kereta and many more.plus plus plus also rugi liao la.==ll.its also my dream+earning a bit money+experience.

haiz.today spm student screaming like hell. xD . screaming+raining+thunder+fireworks(damn noisy ==ll)=@@

ahhh so confused now.

hehe.

how much longer in the future is the one i am waiting for lays?oh my oh my.

i will definitely treasure you.but i wont say "forever". i had no confident in myself.i dont wan to dissapoint ur feelings.

its always ENEMY after lovers.i am afraid.thats why i choose my career.i had decided to work hard for my career.i will work.i felt guilty being a parasite for 17 years.

In This World,There Are People Who Are Naturally Gifted With Things That Others Can't Get No Matter How Much They Want Them Or How Much They're Willing To Pay.

sometimes,when i saw other ppl got something i dont.i might felt a bit envious.but i dont realize that i had something that they dont have.i dont appreciate the things i ownED.

say is more easier that do.i will listen to my heart.act from my heart.until i can no longer take it,i will probably give up.i am loyal to something.for food,career,family,fren(that i had choosen).

for love i dont know la.sometimes they said if u see him/her everyday u can mengeratkan hubungan.but the -ve is that wont u felt sien and then -----> break up?

haha.well i will just think about career and works for now. ^^ bcoz for a friends i liked very much.i am very dissapointed.i wanted her.but she is the one who had choosen xx(another girl) as a best fren.

i damn sad that time.first time i cried for a fren.i will remember that day until i die.last day of form 4.now there is a half chance.xx had choosen another fren.oh dear,choose me.i will loved u until it ends.as a friend.

half chance.duno if i shud grab it or ignore it.

curious curious.

curious how kids learn to talk?erm.as for me.i had low memory.i duno know how ppl still manage to remember the things happened 10/20/30/40 or mayb 50 YEARS ago de stuff.for me 3 years also more than long long liao.

ok.now all thats left is the twins.physic and chemiiii~~hahax.which = 6 papers = 2 days more.i am hungry now,but now is 11.14 only.

yesterday.still blur blur.rushing for exams.open my cup maggi mee.the water is not boiling(a.k.a the maid forgot to switch it on ^^).FINE!wait wait wait.6.50am liao.wait?the hell i will.

eat 2 pieces of biscuit.DONED!GONE!to school of course.

at school,in exam hall.hungry~sleepy~paper2~ (x_x)zzz <---me.paper 1 after eat a chocolate roti(which cost me o.60cent damn it.i buy at mini market 0.50cent only). (~^^~) <--- me when doing paper 1.

ah ha.next door is renovating.i hate those sound of screw(gauge?) duno la.bang bang bang bang bang. == . enuf la.when my house under renovation.i am FORCED to hear it for two WHOLE month (or more i think).

kindegarten part time dream = broke!!daddy said CANNOT!! TT sobs.its useless.i dont wanna earn back my daddy's money plus i wanna go outside world,away from my little world.just let me experience the cruelness of society.for it not then i wont learn.

ahh.christmas.in a blink of eyes.i love u~quick come.hmm.~~~hungry~~cya~