argg..

driving me crazy...haiz next year spm spm..aiyo..so stressed..i will bear 1 more year..or 104 day of school(see i even count it)..pei yin always drive me mad..always hurting me and pretend like nothing happen..

next year i aim to be pps..can i??

and then bear 1 more year i can gt my freedom..and i will gt my license hehe..i really gt a phobia towards my school indian guys(bien tai on physical) and girls(on mental)..eww..dats why i scared of 5sc3..

since i cant do anything but to bear with it then i guess i will juz suicide when i cant bear with it..

a fun fun day..

23th december 2008.. is the best day..i receive 4 present hehe..thx thx to the giver..it was a fun day when i go out with 5 other frenz..and dissapointed for some reason..

the upper part..this was the last ride before we go eat sushi..360 degree @.@..aiyo..i ride it while closing my eyes..and then chai jing ask me to open my eyes when i was ngam ngam 360 degree the most high place..wah..so scared..u see scared stil wan play haha..

the lower part...


this ride has nothing to fear but its a pain..suit for a couple..it would be nice if the strong was sitting on the left bcoz when it start the right will always end up ..umm how to say..umm..stepping??i dunno la..this will cause pain to the left one..and i was the right one.. T.T..and then the right one will suffer from hand pain if u try to go back to the right side when u were being forced to the left side..i dunno why bt when we ride it,it was 2 times and one guest vomit there..

this was the critical point...roller coaster..this is the first ride and we ride 2 times but hui ying was not feeling well so she stopped on the second round..

this i called it the rubbish dump and my mother called it the washing machine..we ended up nt playing this when we get dizzy from dat spinning ride..

diz??of course not..childish..plus it surely make u dizzy..

after we play dat high star-like thing we go play the ship-like ride then we go eat..i was suggesting on sushi..becoz i wan eat the....dunno wat..the big big de..aiyo..i dunno la..for the upper picture was curry ramen-yi ching's and udon mee-shoo yuen's..

when i go there and order u know what she said "out of stock" -_-lll (i go sushi king for dat only)oh yeah one more thing when we first go in i saw a 38(sampat,sampah)old hag talking sommething toward us..i dunno is it me?i hate her..

if u wan eat the eat la dont talk..nanti choke u to DEATH..actually a teenage i call her old hag!!and one more thing there service are poor..when we first go in,i told u NO ONE SERVE US..do u think kids are not human?..i was sure gonna say this in blog..

this was pei yin's ramen..

mine..dunno wat it called..haha i take this pic when 4 ppl go toilet left me and chai jing..while waiting i ate one and take a pic of it..haha actually it has 3..and then i kept calling them because they go toilet for a long time..but then its a surprise..thx a lot..i thought they sesat jor..haha..

in front of the cake was yi ching left and hui ying right...this was a suprise..thx to them..actually they plan on giving me a surprise but when she talked to the waitress i heard the word "cake"..

haha banana cake..as u can see the cake only has one candle and represent 10 years old..but when i am home it left 6 small candle..so in this pic i was 10 years old but when i am home i was 6 years old??!!ahh...haha..actually they buy it when they went to toilet..

cheers...from upper yi ching and hui ying then the right side chai jing and the lower right pei yin..the lower middle me and the lower left shoo yuen..kambei!!cheers!!before this to my surpise and shocked they sing a birthday song..in the sushi bar?..ahh first time..so shy yet shocking..

i was so -_-lll when pei yin is hurting me..i din say it out but she really dun care my feeling and straight away say all thing just as she please..this kinda make me feel so....but i dun wan to hate so i kept it...this years birthday was fun,shocking,surpising,happy,and more..

actually two day before it i cry like hell(for some reason)..i guess the tears i cried has been pay off..its always like this...i need to cry before i smile and laugh..

we go back at 9pm..wah nice nice..but hui ying and yi ching go back first at around 7..then we go watch beverly hill's chihuahua..only four of us..haha dat movie was nice..i like it..it was funny,cute and real dogs..i wish to see bolts too although its cartoon..

wan find a rope soon...

rope rope rope..got one??sell to me...is there any rope in my home??no...there is a knife but not good to use it...gun?no!...some pils...yes yes...i ate some so still feel the same...i jz try some various pills together..(hey good girl,good boy dont try it...)..no use to just ate it...ewww..and some of it is bitter...yikes...

ahh...yesterday the worst...i think it was the same i cry for other thing but yesterday was more...ummm how to say?...ummm was more like hell de la...its suffer...and now still the same...yesterday in the morning still nice but then i think around 5:19pm...i called pei yin to ask something but end up knowing another thing...its dat class list...

after i know it,i felt...heaven/hell i am on the way now...please open the door...and dat time i am msn with someone...so he say "don do stupid thing,bla bla bla..." i forget some of it...his word has NO use to me...

then i try to talk to someone on my phone list...and i felt even more sad...my phone list.....all.....haiz....then i decide to either call sou yee jie jie or sheryl jie jie...then i sms sou yee because i scared to disturb sheryl jie jie from her work...and then i feel 0.5% better...i think now i will take 2 years to heal...at least..

first i ask her "sou yee,when u feel so hurt until wan die wat wil u do??" then she replied "i wil cry as loud as i can to GOD..i wil shout at HIM..i wil merajuk at HIM..i wil pray to HIM.." so i do cry as loud as i cry...well dats wat i always done so its fine with me...

this is wat she said me dat i feel better after just now conversation "believe dat GOD has his wil to when he put u in 5sc3..wat we experience GOD wil know..and believe dat everything is in GOD's hand" mayb this is a short message but i cried for it..

and then the second human i asked was my mother...at first i went to her room and cant hold back my tears so i sound like something is in my throat..and i asked her "what will u do when u feel really really sad??" she answered.. "i will smile and laugh HAHAHA"..then i try both..one is cry,believe and pray,the other one is smile and laugh...

after 5 minutes when i still felt sad i go read bible..and then when i open the bible my mother knock the door and when she come in...i felt like crying even more...u wont find a mother like mine...so she asked what happened??is it family problem??...no...

at first i dont want to answer her and continue to cry...i also dunno why my tears kept flowing...everytimes when i cry i will do it alone..but this is the first time i felt so sad dat i asked my mother for her opinion...

erm this is wat i heard the broke my heart and i felt like i wont smile to strangers anymore...u see...pei yin said this "hey karen chai jing was in sc1,then all the others are with me in sc2 and u are the only one in sc3..." doesn it meant "u are the only one,u are outcast,u are alone,no one want u...." this is the feeling i get dat i feel wanna cry...my mood gone down from 80% to 18th floor of hell...i NEVER blame her on it because i know pei yin is the kind of straight one...i HOPED she din meant anything by dat...

dat day i lay on my bed at 9pm..then thinking something until around 10:30 pm then slept at 11pm(i think)...i kept thinking various thing dats bugging me...

well there is one good and many bad thing i was putted into 5sc3...the good is dat i will concentrate in my study without even chatting to anyone...and the bad is dat i was scared...know wat i was scared??...i think many of my frens already know dat i scared indians guys in my school (except af 2% are good,can u imagine 2% over 100% ??)

and then at the same time there is one guy called me..i felt kinda happy..because i think dat he called me at very tepat masa...but i din answer it..no way i could he wil definitely know i am crying..i dunno wat is his intention to called me because i din pick it up...now i felt dun wan to chatted with anyone(except my family and SOME humans)

i used to think the word friends are fake...fakers..hump this is all...

oh ya besides wish a happy birthday to my sis and wish comes true...

Eyaaaaaaaaa.....

ummm...there are times when i feel wanna cry but....

there is also times when i wanna kill....

i once said "friend" does not exist rite??hmmm i guess so..finding a real friend really take me a lot of time...so as for now i will make anybody suffers if he/she hurt or talk bad about someone who is precious to me....i,karen,wont forgive him or her...

ahhh this picture i dont know what he is trying to do...but its kinda like a "look up when u feel sad ^^"

adeh...before i know what is anime..i am really boring and feel haiz "every day is the same huh..its a cycle everyday"..but then one day (i think from2/form3) one of my fren told me..

"hey did u know there was a new channel called animax"..i was like "haiz just some channel that is bored again??"...she said "no its all cartoon"..cartoon??no interest..well i only have interest in anime...u know anime and cartoon are totally different...

and then when i go back home i watch it(i think it was 35 or something dat time,now its 715,i think,well my otosan cut off the animax channel so i cant see anymore..T.T..but thats also good if not now i could be a real anime maniac/crazy for anime lor...)

the first anime i watch on animax was cardcaptor sakura..i was lucky..that time when i switch on the tv its cardcaptor sakura first episode so everyday i watch it..hehe of course other anime too...watching it making my mood up..

its a way too realease my stress....there are times when i truly crazy for it until the second time i watch it i even write down a synopsis in my diary ^^..haha..i think it was form 2...now i think of it,its really such a....hahahaha...dat time haven play computer so i watch anime on animax...

erm this pic is sunako chan...i think she was kinda cute...dont u think??hmm when i put it as my display pic in msn ppl ask me "hey is dat a ghost?" or "why u put a ghost as display pic?"..hump..she was cute leh....

these days i was like "what the...." having weird dream and cant sleep at night...yesterday was also crazy....well only two ppl know wat i did so shhhh....

ahh i found out there are a lot of anime character thats almost same..erm like...see the following pic...these pic are all in pairs dat i think look alike start with karen and hikari then amu and hino and otherz..

Karen from mermaid melody...the purple mermaid..

And the second-ranked Hikari from special A..

Amu from shugo chara...

And Kahoko from la corda..

Tsuchiura from la corda..

And the seventh-ranked Ryuu from special A..

Takashi Yamamoto from reborn...

And Takashi Morinozuka from ouran high school...

The prince Tamaki from ouran high school..

And the first-ranked Kei from special A..

The fifth-ranked Tadashi from special A..

And Kazuki from la corda..

Len from la corda..

And Ikuto from shugo chara..well they both play violin...

well i guess dats all i can show..i dont have pic of some of them who i think is similar...

this is just a funny random picture...erm this was Tadase from shugo chara and he is kinda similar to Kizune from kamichama karin(i think he was kizune because i stop seeing dat anime after i view a bit..it was slow..i will continue it someday before holiday end)

these day feel so empty...erm my msn contact list is less and the ppl online is always the ppl i dont know...i guess all my schoolmates are having fun norh...T.T..so lonely...saa nvm its okay with me...smile smile...

aiyaya yesterday i pick up the message send by him la...aiyo i dun wan it..i dun wan to contact with him...hish hish..well the phone rang and i pick up la...aiya...regret lor..

he din contact wit me for around 3 weeks liao leh..he think wat am i??a doll?a toy?when he need me then find me when he dun need me he pun me aside...hump...

but he is nice,sweet and caring...dats 5 years ago T.T..i dun wan to hurt him so this is the reason i accept him...shhh i think he wont see this blog so...

if u know him..dun tell him...it will definitely hurt him and he wil hate me forever...FOREVER..and remember dat was 5 years ago when i was standard 6..so a child..but now as my mother said i am STILL a child haha...i was born late than 99.9% of my fren..but i din regret i accept fate.."trust in fate but never be fren/know the word *giving up*"

saa...dats a bye bye..hehe..this year i m expecting a sugoiiiiiiiiiiii christmas... ^^ well i hope everyone have fun too...hehe...aiya i din realize today was 8-12-08 hmmm...the holiday seems pass so fast ner...hor??dont u think so??...chak take care n_nv

hmmm....*cry*

aiya....yahoo christmas is coming..hehe..cant wait until christmas...hope this year christmas will be a great one ^^

ummm...i always say thing like "GOD is leaving me","why i had this life??","why GOD treat me like this??" but these days i realize it was stupid to think so..now is know that i has been blessed a lot by HIM..HE gave me what is important...

i am forever grateful...GOD let us pass through bad thing to protect us from worst thing..this is what my precious friend told me...

life is like a cycle for me..after good luck is always bad luck...well there is no way a human would only have good luck rite??so appreciate what u have now...

not all thing will go on as predicted...i once think of if i go 10 year to the future then came back here,then there is no more meaning when u already what will happen tomorrow...

i picked these lines from an email..

HUMAN BEINGS ARE SUCH SMALL CREATURES,

AREN'T THEY?

SO DON'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT

EVERYTHING, TREASURE EVERY MOMENT, DO

WHAT YOU WISH TO DO.....

BROADEN YOUR VIEW, BROADEN YOUR MIND,

DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS

THAT ARE BOTHERING YOU,

DO TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES, LIVE

SAFELY AND PEACEFULLY,

ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO WELCOME THE COMING

OF THE NEW DAY....... ENJOY THE SUNSHINE ...

ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.....

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.

haha...i always do encourage other ppl but i dont know how to myself...i feel down..next year really gonna sell salty duck eggs lor...(if u duno what it means then nvm...)..

2009 will be a complete torture year for me..no more anime..no more loitering..no more play play around..i know its too late but i still wan to try my best now!because i make a promise to my LORD,GOD...

when we love,we kiss...when me hate??we kick and kill??...jz kidding...

i like talks about anime(what i like is anime not cartoon) but i dun really like to talk or gossip about humans..u cant trust womens so can u trust mens??no...coin has two side so does human??yes...

and i dun like talks about phone model,artist or whatever idol..for me my one and only idol will be HIM..say me outdate or anything...i shall always be loyal to only HIM..i will prove it..

Special A..Hikari Hanazono and Kei Takishima..

Ouran High School Host Club..Haruhi Fujioka and Tamaki Suoh..

oh ya i just finish watching an anime...special A..very meaningful...its like ouran but special A is more funny...

lets gambateh!isn he cute??he got gold eyes,his name is Yoru...the cross on his neck...i want it ^^