know how i waste my tym?

hey count it how many day more i will start my skul?err about 5 or 6 days la...wah so fast de!!!woi izit the tym 4 real *crying*..i still not prepare yet lor...okay start (mayb 1 jan) i will b pretty busy with cutting hair,book,uniform,shoe,beg, n other lotz more stuff to settle b4 start skul...haiz reli 'fan'(busy / sibuk) to b a stu...well in form 1,2,3 i hav waste a lot of tym lor...err like form 1 the worse thing i done,err i think is playing water with those chinese guy in 1k then kena marah dgn cikgu(i 4get that teacher name)..wuwuwu *crying*...so fish...well afta all its me in form 1k wat...then still got some sweet memory n some bitter one (decided to erase all n fill them with new like ppl say "the OLD din go how the NEW will come?)...

okay form 2 erm i think 1 day i and my friend masa rehat want go library,err that tym we decided to take short cut form the pejabat guru then suddenly meet the penyelia ptg at the top of the building(i think the block F or D)..that tym so scare i say in my heart "aiyo this tym cham lor",luckly the teacher juz giv amaran..wuwuwu *crying*...reli bitter but giv me alot pengajaran n lesson...

oh ya n form 2 i b the moral class monitor (this moral teacher is pn... *let us keep it a secret okei*she is teaching science so everytym afta exam when we ask about the mark she will answer "ooo itu ye saya belum mark la,science penting la..moral nanti nanti je la)err i think it is the tym almost long long holiday that tym 1 day moral lesson so i as the monitor go find teacher (everytym moral) then i din find so i and the 2h n 1 more class(well gabung class ma) stay at 2 mulia class n wait 4 teacher (my throut reli pain la shouting "diam la!!woi diam la!!x dengar ke?!!" then the indian boy say "apa mau gaduh ka?"..*crying* how stupid i am?)...

then they keep playing,shouting,jumping,running,chatting n other activity like i am transparent okay i b patient then the penyelia petang suddenly come in n then u know what hepen de la..well the first person to scold is me as the monitor..oh ya that tym some malay girl ponteng n juz sit at there..teacher ask me "sekarang apa subjek?mana guru kelas?cari x?" then i answer "s--ss--seka---rang m--a-asa m-or--al...pn.....(dun wan remember the name)"...

then suddenly 1 of the malay girl say "pn.... ada kat blok sebelah" then all pair of eyes looking at the other opposide blok n find out that teacher is there so all go there...my moral teacher say "kenapa x cari saya kat sini??kamu yg salah bukan saya"..that tym i cried,well some of my friend is there..i think this is the worse memory i hav....

n form 3 the worse thing is err i think no la or u can say i dun wan remember muc...

*fuh*

today get my result....reli unexpected (4 me)...even my mom oso unexpected (think how worse i am?)...haiz still cant lega that fast...2 subjec that i don reli hav muc confident,finally as result i get A..uhhh how unbelievable...my upsr is 3B n 2C,pmr is 2A 5B (wah so many B o,i reli got 'jodoh' with B lol)...my father say the study always go up not go down (that tym i wan answer "then work also got 'pasang surut' la) huiyo u think i always up n never down mea?...haiz anyway i reli want say thankz to-

-the one hu giv out money,time, n other

-the one hu born me

-the one hu take care me

-the one hu teach me abc

-the one hu teach me study

-the one hu love me(of cuz myself la)

-the one hu teach me in skul

-n last my fren....

haha this all...reli appreciate...^^

know wat...errr my class girls result (the first two i think they got a genius brain or what?)

first-6A's and 2B

second-5A's and 3B

the other two i not reli xure la but 1 is 2A's 4B 1C n 1D (i think) and 1 more i just remember she got 2A's (i think)........

day afta day...

wah days xure pass fast o...aiyo tomolo gonna go collect result...feel excited n scare...2night duno can sleep or not de la..pmr also scare ltk this liao den if spm gonna faint la...aiyo..luckly i din get high score when upsr bcoz if i get too much score then mayb i will 'jatuh kelas' xp...hope everything is alright,nothing to worry about...hope so ^^


upsr-cincai tembak..
pmr-tembak........
spm-gonna do the best!!!

spm not gonna cincai or tembak.......spm so important...haiz pressure pressure but these day i din get pressure coz my father din scold me n he juz laughing so i calm down...its nice like this so i'll do my best...yosh!i will actualize my dream n not only day dream about them...hehe ^^

m3rRy cHr!sTmAs ^^

lusa is the day i collect my pmr result lor...feel??err scare n excited..hehe....wish everyone hav a hepi christmas lor....hmmm christmas come once a year....but like no meaning 4 me *sob*....anyway i am hepi with the present i receive...thankz a lot!!!^^


valentine come again?haiz reli boring la...but reli alot chocolat during that tym ^^...hehe i can eat as muc as i want ^^
i will make sure the flower(love)in my heart NEVER bloom until i grow adult..hehe ^^(wish so)...


haiz birthday past liao nid to wait 1 year more....well lucky bcoz 1 din born in first january with this short of my body lol (at least i can make 'alasan' that i am young so i short la).....hmmm being so late b'day got merit n bad thing...

merit-young (well it cant last 4eva..hehe ^^)
bad-if get IC or anything nid to wait till last december *sigh*
-mangsa buli

aiyo....christmas la,result day la,new year la,start skul la,preparing books la,bla bla bla la......making me @.@(dizzy) lor.....*fuh* so many activity...hmmm these few day feel kinda tired dealing with a boy n other thing..n cant sleep well bcoz thinking sumting but i reli duno why n what do i think?...i lay at my bed at 10 pm (around la or sumtym more early)....then i start thinking a lot of thing,making my brain want to explode (hiperbola)..when i am alone i'll start thinking a bunch of thing..haiz juz cant stop from this bad habit of mine..y huh?brain problem?...

coward...*sigh*

isk isk isk...today i read a manga n read about all love thing between the adult...adult world....haiz it reli is complicated huh....i reli want to stay like this IF I CAN(being naive)...the word IF never exist....i say i dun wan in love but mayb i am juz a coward/wimp that always avoid from reality n those hurt feeling that love contain and at the same tym i also dun wan to hurt other...bcoz i know that feel...it reli hurt...still until now 2:02 PM,22/12/2007 it still hurt me....but i decided tomorrow 23/12/2007 i will those feeling i hav now get away from me..sadness go go go go away!!!hahaha.....but mayb i will hav sadness from future *looking far to future*......yosh!!加油加油!!U CAN DO IT DE.....GO GO GO!!!hehe ^^

sad memory...go go go!!go away ^^

hmmm i think when start school i wont hav muc tym to on9...but sumtym i'll find some information..hehe...reli reli excited n scare lor...my result...that day i delete a lot of sms that a guy send to my,i was so silly (good manner call silly,no manner call stupid n idiot xp) to believe that he will come back 1 day....*sigh* but i decided to delete it n never think about it again...hmm i think bcoz of this i feel more relax ^^

christmas n new year(2008) gonna come let us juz enjoy the day we hav...appreciate everything u hav...enjoy or u wanna rock it?haha....have fun everybody!!wish come true...let this christmas b the end of this year (2007)......sad memory go go go!!!new memory come come come to me ^^

keep ur wonderful smile o.....

hav a hepi christmas o....

wish everyone stay in a hepi mood 4 d christmas...lets enjoy this christmas as the end of this year (2007).....kyahoo!!!27 december,10 am is the day gonna go n take pmr result...i fell both excited n scare lor...i promise if i get worse result,i gonna get the bes in my form 4 n 5 ^^...chiu whether get the nice or worse result also the same la..oh ya on the same day is my senior john gan birthday lor(hmmm his b'day pretty late o xp...but there is merits being born so late,one of the merit is that can b young ^^)....well below this is a sentence of poem that i like so muc....

*If u can meet with Triumph and Disaster,*

=if u can meet with sucess and failure on equal footing without being too overwhelmed by either of them

*And treat those two impostors juz the same.*
=both sucess and failure can mislead and you shud not b too hepi with sucess or too disappointed with failure

i bet with 2 ppl (1 is 3A girl n the other one is 3F girl) thats clever than me...i say if who get the bes gonna belanja the other 2 at canteen there then the 3f girl say "i dun wan ice cream,i wan pizza" then then 3a girl said "no money" cum to think of it i say "well if no money nvm la...i am good ppl so juz AT LEAST abalone also enuf liao de la".......those lame joke -_-"

start new life???*sigh*

haiz.....new life gonna start...the form 4 lifestyle huh....i wonder how it cud b.....well i dont noe bcoz i am not a fortunetelling...haiz sumtym i wish i hav that power but life will b boring if u noe the future coz if u noe the future then there will b no challenge n excited feeling lor......ok deal or no deal???haha i juz gonna DELETE/REMOVE some of my memory well its full now then i am gonna fill in this brain with "study study n study" kyahoo!!!..

welcome lor my 2008 lifestyle..^^..hmmm nex year(2008) i am planning to b a librarian where i can read many books n relax in the aircond room xp...i tell my father n discuss it a little...well at first i wan to b a prefect but i am way too small to b n end up i am the one hu is being bully...so i think librarian is more nice..but then there are still sumthing that confuse me,its that the cloth of a librarian/prefect is way too expensive,to b a librarian u nid to b responsible if anything hepen in the library,'temu-duga'(or whatever la..where the teacher will ask u bla bla bla),if any meeting u nid to stay back(hmm this mayb is the worse problem..my father is so busy with his work if i ask to go to this meething i will juz end up getting scold from him)....hmm its ok if i din b a librarian or perfect bcoz i still can use the 20 min recess tym to go to the library n borrow a book but if b i will get certificate lor...my father said take or din take the certificate is still the same(as i din wrong)..

its weird that i CAN memorize song lyrics but i CANT memorize all the formula *sigh*....yosh!!gonna keep up working hard n try my best 4 everything!!i'll zettai zettai (definitely) do the best!!go karen!!u CAN do it de.....c'mon for everyone too..keep up going n giv urself MORE confident lor.......gambateh!!加油加油!!^^

nothing is cant b done de.If i WANT to do it I'LL do it but sumtym when i feel down or stress my will to do it/life force/dreams will bcum weaker n weaker.....sumtym i juz act to b COOL n STRONG but i realize that it's totally useless..b urself is the best of all..no 1 can replace ur status or identity..i am here hoping 4 great sucess...

on my birthday i am gonna deleted some USELESS memory about...err that person,that person,that person n lotz more person...haha then fill it with that formula,that formula n more formula..hmm i think all my feeling 4 a guy is juz useless n its call one-side love le.......pathetic......


hmm my fren ask me 1 question "hey if u hav 3 mins chance/3 mins life n u can b all alone with ur love one then what are u gonna do??"...oh my...what a weird question...i haven answer her....erm... lets see she said that the love one is not gonna b 1 of ur family its ur lover well i don hav 1 nerh....


if u change ur face thats not equal u change ur heart as well,ppl wud always look u as the same...erm i hav heard this before "even this pretty ppl will hav a dark heart"..yosh!!this year not gonna b a year 4 my love so no love fewer lor...love fewer doesn make any sense to me -_-"







i trust that there's always sum1 hu'll always b by ur side,take care of u,cheer u up when u are unhepi,share ur sadness/hepiness n that person'll even giv u confident...hmm izit juz my illusion???well anyway cheer up!!^^

^^

hmmm......if sumting is not urs then u'll never get it.....hehe christmas coming liao ^^
today my father ADVISE me to choose the CORRECT guys if not u will suffer even more....hehe thats right....hmmm listen to older can gimme merits o......

if u can dream-and not make ur master means if u can have dreams n ambitions do not let them control u.U shud actualise them n not only daydream about them (i always daydream but now i'll try to actualise them ^^).......everyday i learnt sumting new in my life.......so i apreciate this worth lesson in my life.......

nowaday me r not interested in love at all....well afta all its me.....

...........

see i say oledy hepiness cudn last 4eva....1 day hepi,100 day sad.....sumtym i think does WE hav blood relationship or even i am the mistress daughter??.....think of these thing making me confuse n wanna explode....my brain keep thinking of it lyk "izit x can replace y??".....n i EVEN hav the envy (.....that feeling duno how to say) feeling with my fren they got a nice family that din fight everyday....why???at least tell me why this all hepen to me???past life sins???.........y i nid to suffer from all this.....n at least tell me how long i nid to suffer???

n summore that i reli stress to hav sum1 in my family get the great score then i nid to follow that path n take the good result.....i reli stress from all this.....my fren always said "good la u,great la u"....then i answer "tell me wat so good n wat so great???"....then she said "aiyo great score ma then u SHUD b hepi n glad la"......SHUD b GLAD???wat r u talking about how bout u feel it???i reli going tired n lack of energy 4 all this....i feel BORING with this life n the river of tears....it cant help at all....

sumtym it make me reli angry to say back the PAST.....the negatif past....n i duno y??y they all lyk to bring back the negatif past???n they din bring the positif 1 why??why???........i think at 1 year there will b a rule saying that "1 family 1 child" hmmm this rule got its own positif n negatif

positif-there will b no fight between sibling......

negatif-if the parent giv TOO MUC luv the child then it'll b worse (u noe la some child is the only child with the arrogant attitude but not all la).......

hmmm how nice IF that rule exist....

normally life ^^

yuuhoo........i get my smile back ^^
hmmm feel kinda hepi coz no 1 pick a fight with me n i din pick a fight wit any1...err mayb coz of my birthday,well if yes then this feeling'll not b long oh *sigh*..but still okay to hav this feeling even its short...hehe this feeling is the best...^^

n today i find out that i haven do anything to THAT guy so that he think that i like him too (hey i never expect this to hepen *sigh*)....uuuuh y din i tell him earlier???haiz now even the worse.....i plan to talk to him on my birthday so that i don hav to bear this feeling anymore (well i set a alarm on that day too ^^)...i know it might b hurt but....but i reli don want this feeling to exist in me (the love for couple)...i realize that river of tears cant b help rite???so y don u juz cheer up??

well its lucky i din say it on HIS birthday that'll b even more hurt 4 him....gonna start my form 4 life soon...err its about 20 days more....better prepare 4 everything b4 skul start....see when holiday i want go to skul but when skul day i want holiday.....preety funny huh....*sigh*

hmmm i always so careless n clumsy (but still it got some MERIT from this character of mine xp)........erm xmas oso soon liao but this xmas make no sense 4 me coz i din go anywhere to celebrate well i think its better loitering at my house (most time i use to play game n teasing my mom xp).....well hope this year hav the changes (well i always want sumting rare).......

this actually is a sms that my sis tell me..read with full of manners ya ^^

life is full of trial,

sorrow,

pain...

but once u fell down juz stand up straight n say this with confident....

"woi kurang ajar!!siapa tolak???"

(edited a little bit)

...................................................................................................................................................

this one is a touching love story......(dun blame if its not touching)

A guy had cancer n he had only 1 month to live.He liked a gul working in a cd shop very muc but he didnt tell her about his luv.E/day he used to go to the cd shop n buy a cd to talk to her.Ater a month he died.When the gul wen n asked about him,his mother told he died n took her to his room n then she saw all the cds unopened...then the gul cried...

u know why???

its bcoz she had kept her luv letter inside the cd to let him know how muc she luv him....

...............................................................................................................................................

@.@.......

izit die reli can settle all the trouble,sins,sadness n suffer i hav now???if can please take my soul that U (GOD) create..........y do i nid to suffer???how can i get rid of all those feeling??.......sumtym i try to cheer myself up or listen to loud n sad song to cry out loud but its no use....no use........totally no use.......now i cant even smile when i am lonely(i used-to-b laughing n not crying)........y???juz at least tell me y i nid to suffer???i HOPE it will change when i grow up......i know now suffer isokay but i duno if i got that long life...............................i know the journey/path is still long to go..................

i reli wan to b lyk 3 fren of mine.....the first one with genius brain,second with the beautiful face n genius brain n the third one with the beautiful/cute face n manner.......y???y i juz cant b like them??.......how can i hepi lyk them???

until the day i cant stand all this,i also duno what i'll do......izit can be settle lyk human said "juz shut ur mouth" izit reli work???..........okay then i'll try to b friendly,not get angry easily,get rid of the jealousy,good,didn say foul word,shut up,wont b hot-tempered (as i usually do),try to b patient,not to do any sins.........if this work then i'll be like this 4eva,if not then..........

its hurt me a lot...........

today.................i view 1 fren friendster........then i find out that my.......(duno wat that relationship call) HE drop a comment to HER.....it remind me 3 year ago(i am in form 1) that tym i start to fight(err the fight din use punch or sumthing its juz misunderstand)......i know it was all my fault that he cud hav this misunderstand so then i apologize to him n he said "sorry 4 wat,u din do anything wrong"..........then i tot its fine but i am too naive to believe that......NAIVE!!!!!!!!!!!STUPID!!!!!!!IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!BAKA!!!!!!!!!!MORON!!!!!!!!!everything............y do i believe that.......

after i call him that day.......nex day i go to skul then i c him but he juz walk away lyk i NEVER exist in this world(transparent)........what the hell????he said its nothing but then y???y???juz tell me y???i reli angry that tym(n fill with other feeling too lyk sad,curious n other).........i bear this feeling for 3 YEARS already.........its hurt,its hurt me a lot so that from now on i promise not to b such childish,jelousy,unmature,stupid,nonsense n other......I'LL get rid of it.......i cant stand this feeling in skul anymore,i don want to bear this feeling anymore.........i cant ctand it....its hurt.............to b ignore lyk that,hurt hurt reli hurt.............i cry a lot (the river of tears) but no one noe..............i know that apologize cudn help,but at least tell me what u angry at????tell me???..........y???y???y i nid to suffer from this........i promise nex year i WONT hurt any1 bcoz if i do,i juz hurting myself.......i don want it to hepen again.........T.T

my GOD with all the goodness y???tell me y i am suffering from all this???n tell me how to make it right????please help me.......i CANT stand it anymore~~~~.............please........onegai.......sumtimes i try to calm myself down/closed my eyes n try to think what did i do until i nid to suffer 4 that???did i kill sumone???did i burn someone house???did i???!!!!!!!!did i???!!!!!!!!!!!!!............no one cud understand my feeling except myself..........y...................tell me y????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................................

reli make me suffer n SUMTIMES when i see him or even heard about him,i juz feel like wanna giv up n then go to hell..........my heart juz feel like this vase above,easily broken.............there is still a long journey/path 4 me(thats juz if i still alive)............long long journey to the north.....

great day......

nice???(although its not clear........)well this is the day i go to seminar n my mom birthday as well.........erm this is around the universiti malaya.......uuuuh so many flag,oh ya that is almost the merdeka day.......actually this seminar got two day but the nex day i din go bcoz late liao(4 eating breakfast).............i got take some pic in the dewan too......n_nv

well this is where we(the pmr candidate taking note n listen to the pro teacher).......well this is during the mihun n milo tym(recess tym),so thats y no ppl.......know where i sit???at the in front left 2nd line.....uuuuh that was close to teacher but the worse thing is that i 4get bring my spec!!!!!!!!wah sai........so careless.......well even my pmr i forget to bring the slip peperiksaan(original one)......know wat 1 of my fren say "hey take care la u"....i hav a feel hate at it,is that a 'sindiran'???i was scare but luckly that pengawas juz look at the photostap slip n my ic then go.....afta that exam i said "fuh....that was closed".............i DONT want to repeat that mistake AGAIN.....

this is the parking 4 the bus to take the student back to their skul........this is making me @.@.....know y???its that when the tym back the smk pu1 group monitor bring us to the wrong bus but luckily i walk with my fren at the back so that when we c the monitor go to other bus we folllow.......fuh luckily i din walk in front if not xp..........@.@.....


















this is the pic i take in the bus.............its not clear...........

well as u can c this is in the bus.........




this on the way back to my skul.......well here 2 guy same they live around here and ask the driver to stop well then the two guy father come n pick them up............then at IOI a guy say "err driver can u stop i want go IOI buy sumthing 4 my mom(i think he say sugar or salt gua) juz a min" then all of us in the bus laugh xp..................well afta get to skul my father pick me up to my house then when in the house i bath,changing,rearrange my bag 4 tomorrow seminar(but tomolo seminar late liao)then i go to downstair n saw all the yummy food(*sigh* i forgot to take the pic) well the got banana,lobster,chicken wing,drink n lot more........then when the client come we start "bbq"...........




uhhhh.............lobster(i don want to eat this bcoz................)





n then the chicken wing..........mmmmm yummy........know wat????the make a MARK at their hog dog n chicken wing so that they can remember (how can they make a mark......-_-").....then when all finish bbq we call heroin (birthday lady)down to blow the candle........okay everything okay???? ok then i duno wat hepen liao coz i get back to my room n sleep!!!!!!!!!!