soooo much dissapointed,desperate,gloomy,sad.....

i did cry...but i think its nevermind..ahaha blame myself so trust other ppl lor...and i trust myself too...haiz nvm la..truthly i am really dissapointed..who else can i trust if not my own family??who else??i believe in GOD and my family the most..but now it seem a bit change after my father and my own mother trick me....


i am really dissapointed..dissapointed u know??dissapointed...i am really really dissapointed..i did cry out...how can??now i only straight away ONLY believe in GOD...and NO ONE ELSE..i wont believe in u either...after all he(my own father)say that "din believe ppl so easily...there is no one to be trust anymore...except the GOD...


okay let see from today..i WONT believe...it hurt me..it slash i my heart...i feel painful..thats what make me want to cry..i never cry like this until my tear keep flowing through my cheek..its painful for your own family to trick and betrayed u...


now i feel nothing but i hope it will change later..because my intention is not to hate...but to cry if someone hurt,betray,gossip and scold me...i CAN ONLY cry when i feel lonely,sad,painful and so on...


now i will remember today of my life...being trick and thanks to my father and mother i learnt a lesson and i have been hurt once..i will remmber this painful year(2008),this month(august),this day(09),this hour(9),this minute(41),this second(49),this time(AM)...today is the day i feel too ainful that i want to suicide..


its different if it was other ppl who betray me..that will only cause a slash..but now its deep in my heart that i think cant even be cure anymore it will remain there forever..and then i msn my friend and she say

hui ying says (9:27 AM):ur parent jZ ply wit u...no nid put in ur heart...coz..ur mind n they nt same..

hui ying says (9:28 AM):they mayb duno hw to ply wit u....so use they cara to goutungin dewasa mind..they alway ply trick..but if gt 2 bentuk..1 is kind want second is bad 1

hui ying says (9:29 AM):he jz ask u dun easy trust ppl..it true..dun easy belive p..coz..u duno wat d man/gal is

hui ying says (9:30 AM):although is me..also dun belive too much..coz u duno wat i'm thinking

hui ying says (9:31 AM):they hv experience..know at luar banyak org yg jahat tapi muka kind only

and thanks to her i feel better and my dear friend shu wen too....she sms me tepat pada masa..when i feel really really wan to suicide...
and now i list some of my friend that have connection(friend) with me that i like...

SCHOOL
-other class
shu wen-although i always gaduh with her but she is somekind nice...
hui ying-still nice...
kah siang-make me laugh in school and never chuan...
adrian-although once i hate him but now we became friend again...and everytime i see him i will smile..he is funny..


-same class as me
pei yin-blur but caring and nice...
shoo yuen-cute..
soik yin-nice..
chai jing-nice..
khai sern-always make me laugh and i never feel chuan in him...


-cell group
shu wen,pei yin,ken,JR,steven,sheryl,hong chun,siew yee,john mak,jenny,dickson(shu wen little brother)..and steven de sister(sorry duno her name),kelvin,adrian,guan ming(although i hate him once but now the hate turn to love but i still duno,is him forgive me already??)...and somemore is the younger that i duno their name...thats all for cell group member..(i think)


oh ya and yesterday is my ketua kelas sayonara party too...so sad all the good ppl are leaving SMK Puchong Utama (1)..and the bad remain there...haiz although i remind myself not to cry but why i always did it again and again..i remember heard this word before...


and then yesterday speech was told by john mak..he say "a long time ago there was three tree named A,B and C..tree A say "i am gonna be a part of the castle" then tree B say "i am gonna be something really useful"..then 1 day a carpenter come and cut down tree A..and build a really really old house..then the second tree B is been cut down and want to make a very very precious ship..and then suddenly the one who ukir the ship make a mistake and the ship become useless and left there....and then tree C..say the same thing "i am gonna be a very very great tree in the world"..then the carpenter cut it down and plan to make a wonderful house..then suddenly the house wreck...and tree C become useless and cut to 2...these 3 tree is saying "oh LORD why U make my life like this??" and then these putus asa turn to a great semangat..when JESUS is been born in the old house build with tree A..tree A feel really really proud..and then JESUS use the old ship build with tree B to stop all the storm in the sea..then tree C sigh again..and say " u two nice la,one is the place where JESUS was born and one being step by HIM and then this tree C is not the place where JESUS born nor being step by JESUS but JESUS is been hang on it...tree C feel proud TOO because its been a part of the suci thing..
THE END...
this speech is great...


"if u are hurt.......just cry out loud,as much as u want to...it will make u relieve " but i some relieve but also some hurt....that slash so pain la....