yeah scared now...today only i know whats the meaning of FRIEND and what did they USED for...i felt more like finding a coffin..i know i'm stupid so no need tell me..yeah lately my father keeps on and on comparing me...haiz...
i'm scared dat one day i will be alone(dats the me from today 11.45)..today i found out wat does friend USED for..now i tell all of u..I THINK I NEVER NEEDED A FRIEND..i need to find my courage and i know i will found it sooner or later..i need strength..i need encouragement(dats also the me from the past)..
again i expect encouragement from other ppl..dats why now i'm very dissapointed...2009 for me is full of unlucky-ness,dissapointed,bad luck,mad-ness,and other negative...mayb i still din find the angle of positive side...
today when bm..i din bring kertas kajang those sheet(yeah i sengaja say SHEET indeed of paper)..so i pinjam with one of my classmate..a malay guy but know mandarin..this guy..he said "erm 20 cent each" ..then my friend borrow 2..
i'm STUPID i thought she buy one for me..but then she use it herself then i think alone.."hmmm this girl so nice har..."..ok enough with the sindiran..so suan lor i buy 2 myself lor..40 cent..i thought this guy just playing but he really did kept it in his pocket..
at that moment start i ask myself "is this a joke?"..okay nevermind..40 cent one lesson..i will NEVER borrow anything from him EVER again..NEVER!!if he does i will count him 30 cent each!(this is called revenge,ppl who dont get their revenge are considered ------!!)
ok now i tell u what friend are used for(for some of my friend to me)..JUST A TOY!!..u know i am not a dolly..haiz bazir my energy to be happy for something like "oh someone is same class with me now!!yay GOD bless me..i am forever grateful..lucky me.." i am TOO stupid to say dat..
now i totally change the script into an opposite one..i know i'm NEVER lucky..dats who i'm..now she said she want to change back to science 2 so this friend izit same like nothing?for me with and without them is the same..
with them i will feel even more uneasy coz they will one day BETRAY you..so prepare yourself..even the best ever friend will betray u so i never trust anyone except for my family members but my father once told me "dont trust ppl so easily STUPID!!" ..haha..so shall i?or shudn i?..
today saw him on the way to bio lab so turn back quickly and run away faster..seeing him bring me a lot of pain dats hidden deep inside me and the old memories..yeah so this is what i learnt today..felt very dissapointed and pain!!
oh ya froget about what my friend did..she even said something i DONT wan to hear the most..i'm too unlucky..do u think u are unlucky?i think i'm the MOST!!in the rank of luckiness..i always will be the LAST!!
and also today was such a XXXX day..today bio so i sit down..then becoz last week i din go skul so i missed some details and i'm nervous because i din do preparation..okay now question time..teacher go on and picking student to answer her question..
deng deng deng..first was amir and he answer perfectly without doubt(admire him)..then second was me!!..i was blur..third was dat guy i say just now(no nid show name la) he give an answer diff from the question..and then next and next..
then we stand for a while..and teacher call the two guys who stand up to sit..i was also standing..BUT i think teacher din see me standing or she sengaja??i dont know..the guy sit beside me,uzair,said "u sit and stand also the same height" dat time i really felt was slap him..
is my height really dat of a problem?XXXX...dont mess with me..i am no longer the kitten karen..said it once more i will splash him with water!!second i will really slap him and even kick..say already 2009 is a year for me to be calm,violent and silent!..u think i dont dare?..try it..
my height is none of ur business coz u are not my anybody..go and mind ur own business which u cannot even settle urself or u are so free to talk about why dont u go and do something else?!!(actually i have a bad meaning here but i wont type it bcoz not gud for children underaged..under 14)
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