haiz..

each day pass by...i grow up even more sick..i go see doctor got 3 times dy?i think so..each time the pils is even bigger T.T..why..mayb i worry too much about my class and things..haiz alone is something i'm scared of but GOD let me through it..i think its a trial to try me..

being alone is ok but i hate ppl when they say me "ALONE"..just shut up and mind ur own business..i hate humans..now i never liked anyone..i'm complete alone..anti social..2009 is a year for me to be calm,violent and silent..

i dun care being alone but i hate ppl always looking at me with a meaning of "pity her"..i DONT NEED ur pity..so stay away..3 metre away..shoo shoo..now i have became anti social and i dont wish to talk so much with stranger nor with anybody(exception for my family bt include all the one i know/in school)..

each day pass by..each day in skul i felt like finding a rope..now i understand why ppl need to suicide..duno why but in skul i gt a very weird feeling dat make me felt like "suicide now!"..

i felt very dissapointed with a group of humans dat din rmb my bday..bt nvm..one of them even asked me "why u din tell"..shall i tell the whole world "yay its my birthday today!!" dat would definitely meant "i want present"..i dont need anything dat cn bought by money..i just need a greeting..is dat so expensive?

not dat i have everything but i dun need anything dat cn be bought with money..a greeting is not even need more than 5 second nor it also din need much energy..its just 2 word..is dat so difficult?am i asking for too much?i put too much expectation in them..

i thought i will gt many greetings..dats why i'm dissapointed..then more i expect the more i felt dissapointed..i will never put any confident or expectation in anybody anymore..i will NEVER expect anything from anybody anymore..i felt weak..i need strength..i need to be stronger..

dissapointed+gloomy+sick+sad+unhappy+other things=a totally bad luck for me..i am one bad luck girl..i think i'm the bad-est luck if compare to my frenz and siblings..

yeah my father like to compare..and dats the one and only reason dat i lost my interest in study..i felt like "haiz i will NEVER surpass him" T.T

sicking -karen-